Another …this Only Happens To Me Story
A Weird True Florida Story
I did my January 1 ritual of going to the beach. I chickened out of actual submersion because I was late, due to cleaning and purging this house, and the water was FRIGID.
I made my way to crash a hot tub (shhhh, it’s a big secret) and it was a sight!
Clothes everywhere! There were sneakers and flip flops. But no people. wet towels galore.
So I approached cautiously and then I was like….
“Oh someone lost a toupee…that’s weird.
Or is it a wig?”
That’s funny! Ooooh wait…
What is that thing on the towel?”
Horror!
A dead squirrel!
With rigor-mortis — so it was elongated! Oh my?
Did it have rabies? WTF? Did it attack these people? Can it get me?
So I turned to go to the hotel bar and there was a teen girl with her brother playing shuffleboard. I called out “do you know what happened?” and pointed toward the hot tub.
She runs over. She’s eager to get this off her chest, obviously. She tells me that:
The whole family was enjoying the hot tub. They literally just flew in from South Dakota…
